11 Step Progam Before Having Children

My friend who did our photos in July, Allison, recently posted this "program" on her blog and I just HAD too post it on mine as well....it is hillarious!!! I was laughing out loud so much and so many times that I literally had to stop and catch my breath!

"Now for those of you who do NOT have children the following list might bring a small smile, but will be somewhat perplexing. For those of you EXPECTING children, this will be humorous, but will make you laugh a nervous little laugh and fidget in your seat. (You will also think this will not apply to your kids. TRUST ME when I say that, OH YEAH, it will.) For those of you who ALREADY have children, the following will be laugh-out-loud, eyes-tearing, oh-my-gosh-I-have-to-send-this-to-people-I-know, hilarious. Enjoy!!"

Step 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Step 2 Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, an d overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the
last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Step 3 ~ A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and
be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Step 4 ~ Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Step 5 ~ Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh..
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Step 6 ~ Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Step 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Step 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Step 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Tele tubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Step 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy/daddy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy/daddy’; occasional crescendo to the
level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Step 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy/daddy’ tape made from Step 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

"Mommy, I think Lauren went poo-poo"

For the last couple of weeks, Lauren has been waking up a little early from her nap every afternoon.....because she has been going poo-poo. So, when she woke up today, Isaac was already awake and downstairs, so he came over to her to say hello and give her a kiss. Then he says, "Mommy, I think Lauren went poo-poo." And sure enough, she did!! When I opened her diaper, he leaned over to take a peak and I guess got a whiff :) Well, he backed up and said, "Eeeewwww!" "When I smelled that poo-poo, it went straight to my brain!!" And I asked, "What happens when it goes to your brain?" And he said, "It kills it!" Hehehe : ) Gotta love what they come up with!!

Fun at the Animal Park

This guy was so cool....just hung out there and looked at us while we looked at him

Isaac feeding the Llama. He has NO fear of ANY animal and never has.
Baby and Mama goat sleeping together...so sweet

Isaac's first ride on a pony....he loved it!

Eric's first pony ride...he didn't want to do it, but

had a great time and hasn't stopped talking about it!!

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It was such a beautiful Fall morning on Saturday, so we loaded up and drove over to the animal park. Until we looked up the directions, we had no idea it was only 3 miles from our house!! The weather was just perfect....73 and sunny. There were so many animals we could pet and feed. They also had a playground and huge sandbox. After we did both of those, Isaac and Eric both took a turn riding a pony for the first time!! They have both been talking about it non-stop since we left. The park also had a moon bounce and wagon rides, but we didn't get to do them this time. We plan to go back sometime next month though. They have a Fall Festival with lots of other fun activities, so that should be tons of fun!

Handsome Boys

It was so nice outside when we got home from church, so we hung out before going in for lunch. Eric and Isaac both looked so handsome, so I ran in to get the camera.

Scott took one with Lauren and I too : )

I Can Sit Up Like A Big Girl!

I wasn't sure if Lauren was ever going to be able to sit in the floor and play...but she's finally doing it!! YAY Lauren!! She would have been able to do it sooner, but she wanted to push and fall backward. She's still a little unstable, so we keep a pillow behind her, but she really is doing great! Even though she is a little past 7 months old, she is showing NO signs of wanting to move. I also thought she would crawl before the boys did, but not yet.

Isaac's First Day of Pre-K

It's a pretty amazing thing when your first child is ready to leave the bubble and enter the world...even if it is only Preschool....2 days a week for 3 hours!!

When Scott and I began the "house hunting" process back in February, the area preschools were also taking applications for the upcoming Fall semester. Yes, that is early, but that's how they do things here in Northern Virginia : ) This left us in a huge dilemma, because we didn't know where we were going to live!!! So, I started praying that God would not only help me find the right preschool for Isaac, but that He would "hold" a space for him......not to mention that it would be affordable. Since surrendering my life to Christ about 5 years ago, I have tried to really embrace this verse:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. ~ Psalm 37:4,5

It was April when we found our home and I knew where we were going to live....so, I started the process of weeding through all the area preschools. It took me about 2 to 3 weeks to narrow the search down to three different schools.

The one that I had the best feeling about was only 2 miles from our home. They had a space for him, it was affordable, it was a Christian preschool, and they were very understanding and supportive about Isaac's health concerns and diet!!! The director was so amazing on the phone, so we decided to check the school out in person. It was great! It wasn't until after we decided that Heaven Sent was the school for Isaac, that I found out a member of our church teaches there!! She is a friend of mine and has had only wonderful things to say about the school. WOW...God is so amazing!

Knowing this is the exact school God intended for Isaac to attend has given me such a great peace about letting him go. Anytime I have felt anxious about him being there, the Holy Spirit has reminded me that this is where he is meant to be...and I have felt complete assurance and peace. It helps that the director and his two teachers have been so supportive and encouraging....and that they love the Lord! Unfortunately, my friend isn't going to be his teacher, but I'm so thrilled with the two that are!

We all loaded up in the van this morning to see Isaac off for his first day. He was very excited and didn't seem to be anxious or nervous at all. In fact, before we left, I was talking to him and encouraging him and told him that we live very close to his school and if he ever needs me, just to tell his teacher and I could be there very fast. Well, he says to me, "Mommy, I don't want you to come there till school is over." "If I need anything, I will ask my teacher."

When we got to the door, he turned around and said bye to all of us and walked right in....so we walked right out.

When he got home he said it was great and told me a few of the things he did....played outside, sang songs, played games, colored, talked to his teachers, ate his snack. He had only good things to say about it : )

Yesterday, Isaac asked Eric about 10 times, "Eric, are you going to miss me when I'm at school." And Eric would answer every time, "Yeah!" And Eric did ask for Isaac several times this morning...then he would say, "Bye-bye Isaac...School." So, when Isaac got back home, I told him we missed him while he was gone. Then I asked him, "Did you miss us?" He said, "No, not at all." "I didn't even think about you all once in my head." I said, "That's so great!!" "I'm glad you didn't miss us and you had such a great time!"

I didn't think I would get teary eyed, but I did as we drove home. Not because I was sad, and not because I was scared, but because my first baby is starting a new season in his life. It's an amazing thing to watch your child grow, learn, change, and develop. It's overwhelming. As they do, I seem to grow, learn, change, and develop right along with them....and I can't imagine doing it without looking to the Lord for guidance and direction every step of the way.

Lauren is 7 Months Old Already!

I really can not believe Lauren is already 7 months old!! The time is just flying by....in fact, it is going by even quicker with a 3rd!

She is so sweet and just smiles all the time. My Dad used to call me "Smiley Jo" because I used to smile all the time as a baby....so we have started calling Lauren "Smiley Jolie".

She still has only the two teeth on the bottom, but seems to be having a few more trying to come through, as she has been a little fussy at times the last couple of weeks. However, she is still eating and sleeping good, so I am very thankful for that!

She weighed 18 lbs at her 6 month checkup, so I'm sure she has gained another pound in the last month....at least my arms and back think so!!

It is such a joy having a little girl in the house! I was so content having two boys before she arrived, but she has really completed our family. At times, I just think of her as a baby...and not that she is a girl....and I find myself looking at her in her cute little girl outfits and thinking, "Wow...she's a girl!!" And I just have to smile. There is just something about a Momma having a little girl. There is a different kind of bond between a Momma and her daughter. I think about when she will someday be a Wife and Momma herself.

It is also a joy to see Isaac and Eric with their sister. I thought the idea of them having a baby sister would grow old, but they are still just as enamored by her as the day we came home from the hospital!! They get so excited to see her when they wake up in the morning and they give her so many kisses and hugs throughout the day, that I loose count. Isaac comments on how beautiful she looks just about everyday....and always notices if she is wearing a new outfit : ) so sweet!

Can't wait to see what it will be like as she continues to grow and develop her own personality.

I'm sure it will be like a party at our house everyday :)

Letting the Ladybugs Go

Scott and I got Isaac and Eric a Ladybug Land for their birthdays in July. It is a plastic "land" made for harvesting ladybugs, and it has a clear plastic, dome shaped cover....so cool huh?? After it arrived, we had to mail in a card so the LIVE ladybug larva would be mailed to us. So, we waited about 2 weeks and they finally arrived!! Those of you who have known me for a while know that I DO NOT like bugs.....it's amazing the things you do after becoming a parent. But, I will say, ladybugs are not very much like bugs....I mean, they are cute and they don't bite : ) so I was okay with them.

However, the larva look more like a yucky bug....almost like a miniature lizard or something. I think there were about 11 or 12 larva. They arrived in a clear plastic tube, along with enough "food" (which looked to me like sand) and a few strips of paper that were supposed to hold water. The instructions told us to dump the entire contents of the tube into the ladybug land....so we did. All we had to do to keep them alive was give them a few drops of water every other day. And the adventure began!!

They started crawling around all over the place. It was really cool, because they would all move around at the same time. Then they would all be still, and I guess sleep at the same time. We counted them several times a day to see if they were all doing ok...and they were!! All 11 stayed in the larva stage for about a week. Then they started changing into the pupa stage....which at first, I thought they were dying!! I had not read about what was going to happen in the pupa stage, but basically they attach to something....which was the side of the clear dome....and go into something like a cocoon.....and "sleep" (without moving at ALL) for about 5 to 7 days. During that time, I was praying none of them would die!! Isaac has been asking way too many questions lately about dieing, heaven, meeting Jesus, and all of that. I just knew if any of the bugs didn't make it, I was going to have more questions of the like coming my way.

Sure enough, after only 5 days, they started to wake up and move around...one at a time. This stage is adult...which is what we know as a ladybug. The first day they looked pale, but everyday they got more and more color. I had to drop 2 raisins into the "land" for them to eat....which they did! The instructions said that we should only keep the adult ladybugs for about 5 days in the land, or they would start to die. But if we let them go outside, they could live up too 2 years! Can you believe that?

So, we let the ladybugs go last night after dinner. Eric and Isaac were both so excited to let them out of the land. I was afraid they might not want to do it, but they both loved it!! Some of them crawled out on their own, and we had to help a few out as well. One crawled out and then crawled onto Eric's shoe and up his leg. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not...it was so cute. And one crawled onto Isaac's finger....he LOVED it!!

We let them go right in front of our house by some shrubs....so if we see some ladybugs in the next couple of years, of course we are going to think they are our babies : ) Definitely worth the $20!! We will be purchasing some new ladybug larva in the future I am sure.

What's For Dinner

Dinner in our Home is....well....colorful....and slightly different than your average "American meal." BUT it's who we are.....colorful : )

Some would say the way we eat is crazy and the things we avoid are necessities. But it is our new normal and to be honest, we don't really do without anything OR miss anything....well, I guess I should speak for myself. I don't miss anything.

When Isaac was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in May of 2008, we made some changes to our diet and lifestyle.....but within the last several months, we have made even more. What is Crohn's Disease??? I had to ask that question myself a little over a year ago....had never even heard of it! Well, it is a chronic inflammatory auto-immune disease of the intestines. It primarily causes ulcerations (breaks in the lining) of the small and large intestines, but can affect the digestive system anywhere from the mouth to the anus. There is a problem breaking down and absorbing nutrients from food. The cause of Crohn's Disease is unknown and there is no cure. Symptoms include mild to severe abdominal pain, nausea, mild to severe diarrhea, vomiting, blood in the stool, fever(s), weight loss, and poor appetite. Some have compared the ulcerations to like having a cold sore inside your mouth....multiplied by 10.

Isaac started having gastrointestinal problems pretty much at birth. I started noticing blood in his stool at about 2 weeks. He also had trouble with gas, bloating, irritability, and he spit up all the time....unless we held him up or he sat in his swing....he would have problems. He woke up every two hours...or a little less/more...for the first 10 months. We spent the majority of our time trying to keep him soothed and holding him upright or walking around the house...so he wouldn't fuss or spit up. At night he either slept in my arms or in his swing. Yes, I was sleep deprived in a big way. As a new Mom, I really didn't know this was NOT the norm. Not to mention the fact that I was explaining all of this to his pediatrician at EVERY visit. At the time, we lived in Southern Maryland, and I found this doctor through our insurance provider. He would say, "That's normal." "That's what babies do." And I would say, "Even the blood in the stool?" And he would say, "Yes."

We moved to Ashburn, Virginia when Isaac was 10 months old and I found a new pediatrician....who we still see today!! I filled her in on everything we had been experiencing, and she said, "That's not normal and you need to see a Pediatric GI."

So we did, and at first they just thought he had reflux, so he started taking medicine to treat it. But he continued to have blood in his stool from time to time and his stools were always loose. This time, I continued to push that something wasn't right. So he had an upper GI (a scope to take pictures of his esophagus, stomach and duodenum) when he was 19 months and was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia, causing the reflux, gastritis, and lactose intolerance. He started taking a stronger medication to treat the reflux at that time, and we eliminated cow's milk and other lactose products (cheese, butter, ice cream)....for the most part. Sometimes we made exceptions and just gave him a lactose enzyme.

There were times when he seemed to be doing better, but there were times when he still had symptoms. I had to take Isaac to the GI doctor about every 8 weeks for follow up appointment. Every time we went, I would explain that I still saw blood in his stool from time to time. As a Mom, I knew something else was wrong.

Things started to get really bad by February of 2008. The blood was increasing, his appetite was decreasing, he was loosing weight, he got a couple of fevers, and he started talking about his belly hurting from time to time. Mind you....he was only 2 and a half. AND I was potty training him.....AND he never had an accident once he started using the potty. Yes, Isaac is an exceptional boy!!

On May 7, 2008, Isaac woke up with his 3rd fever in only a few months. And the day before, he bent over in pain saying his belly hurt, then threw up. That morning, the Holy Spirit spoke to me so clear, and so loud...."Take him to the hospital right now!" So I did. Isaac was admitted and stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks.

When we checked in the hospital, he had every single symptom I mentioned above. He was not aloud to eat or drink ANYTHING for 4 days. He was given TPN (total parenteral nutrition) through his IV. He had to get a scope of his upper GI tract and a colonoscopy. He had to get several different IV's started during his stay because his veins would shut down. He had to get a PIC line in one of his main veins. He had to have a blood transfusion, because of all the blood he had lost...over the last year and a half. He was anemic. He was almost 3 and he weighed only 23 lbs. To say the least, these 2 weeks were excruciating for all of us...and Eric was only 10 months old at the time.

We were completely broken and crying out to the Lord. We had no idea what to do and what not to do. We began praying and believing for complete healing and restoration in Isaac's body. We also started praying for wisdom, so that we would know how to help prevent future flare ups. At the time, we decided to take the advice of his doctor and Isaac started on 4 different, medications. Even though they were toxic and had some negative side effects, we wanted to give it a try. AND we are all taught that we should listen to our doctors.....right? We were told to avoid vegetables and fruit....but that's it. From our own research we decided to also eliminate gluten and all cow's milk, since they are difficult to digest.

After a year of the medicine, no vegetables, fruit, gluten or dairy, Isaac still wasn't living as healthy as we would have liked. I just knew there had to be something better for him. His appetite was poor, he still had loose stools and sometimes went several times a day, he wasn't gaining weight, he complained of his belly hurting from time to time, and he had 2 mild flare up's. His doctor said if he had another flare, we were facing some drastic changes in his treatment. We had 2 options: 1. Remicade - a highly toxic IV infusion drug OR 2. A feeding tube in his stomach with no solids by mouth for 6 months.

On April 7th, another flare came. His doctor advised us to go to the ER. However, Isaac didn't have a fever or blood in his stool (meaning there was no infection)....instead, he was at the beginning of the flare up and I just didn't have a peace about going. So, I started doing what I have done every time things started declining ....praying and research. That is when I came across a posting on a blog. The posting was titled, "My #1 Crohn's Flare Up Remedy." I couldn't believe it!! Scott and I had been searching and searching for any and everything imaginable....and I had stumbled upon something.....by the Grace of God!!

After reading the post, and several others, I contacted the woman behind them via email. She was an answer to prayer!! She is a naturapathic medical student, registered yoga teacher, and natural health educator....and she has Crohn's!!! She answered my email the same day with a 4 page response!!! She helped us get through this mini-flare up without going to the hospital and has given us a whole new vision and treatment for Isaac's future.

We have been working very closely with her since April to get Isaac on a new and better path to remission. She is truly an angel sent by God! AND she loves Jesus!! Megan lives in Michigan, so we have done all our correspondence via email and phone....but we are looking forward to meeting face-to-face someday! Her blog is called "Megan's Mind". Here's her blog address if you would like to check it out.

http://www.megansmind-holisticwellness.blogspot.com/

WOW...what a difference we have seen in Isaac over these last 5 months!! He is the healthiest he has ever been in his life! He is gaining weight, has a super appetite, has too much energy, is completely off his medications, his stools are....well, like a "normal" stool : ) and has shown no signs of a flare up since that day in April. Thank you Lord!!

Oh yeah...and what's for dinner....tilapia (fish), green lima beans, quinoa, purple cauliflower, and sweet potatoes.

I will write more later about the changes we have made to our diet and lifestyle.

Happy Birthday Cousin Nathan!!

Happy 4th Birthday Nathan!!
We Love You!!
Uncle Scott, Auntie Mel, Isaac, Eric, & Lauren